I didn't blog a lot in 2013. I was busy, yes. So there was always an excuse, always a reason not to.
But really, 2013 was hard. And it was hard throughout the year. There were good things, but I can't remember a time when I was so happy to see the clock turn over. Symbol or not, I need the fresh start.
I don't like posting when things are hard. I don't feel comfortable talking about that - I feel like I should be quiet, I shouldn't whine, I should cope. Be strong. It's weird to type those words and direct them at myself, because I can't remember ever hearing someone else talk about things being hard and thinking, "Oh, they should just be quiet and cope." But it's easy to talk about ourselves in the ways we would never let anyone talk about our friends.
I don't want to make any grand resolutions. I'm not going to promise to post three times a week (posting here has a different weight in my head than being chatty on twitter. I feel like I should have something to say when I write it here) or to share everything always. I don't wear emotional nudity comfortably. Not yet.
But I don't like the idea of closing down the blog. So maybe what I'll do, is I'll let myself talk, when I need to, about what I need to. When I work with new writers, one of the things I tell them is "Don't reject yourself." Know the markets, sure - don't send your hard sf to someplace that specializes in horror. But beyond that, if you've done your best work, don't think up reasons why you shouldn't send it in. Let the editor decide. Let the audience decide.
So I'll talk. And I'll stop writing posts and deleting them for all the wrong reasons. And we'll see what happens.