Sunday, November 8, 2015

State of the Kat, draft-finishing month

I'm not sure exactly what it is about this particular draft that has me inspired to fire up the blog and note its progress, but here I go anyway.

(Previous entry here.)

The short answer is, my wordcount isn't where I would like it to be right now.

The more complicated and better answer is, while I wish that I had more words on the page (in the computer, in this stack of scribbled-upon print outs that is large enough to have terrified the cat when she knocked it over the other day), I am actually okay with where my progress is right now. I have forward motion on the draft again, and I can see where things are going, at least for right now, and those are the two biggest things that had been giving me difficulty. I am taking this as a win - because it is - and I am not beating myself up over lack of wordcount, because I cannot change what has happened on the days that have already passed.

It is a really drafty draft. Even the first three chapters, which I had gotten into good enough shape at one point to send to my editor as a proof of concept (this book, while not under deadline, is under contract, and I wanted to be sure that he would want it) now have new scenes and new people in. At least three times today, I had to stop and say "It's only a draft, you can fix it later" out loud to myself. I am better at trusting myself to fix things later, but that doesn't mean it's easy - I can hear my internal editor, following along just a few sentences behind me, reminding me that this scene would be better if it were more active, that I still haven't established a sufficient motivation for this character's behavior, that the end of the scene still needs another beat to close it out, and why don't I just sit here and twist my brain around it until I know exactly what that is?

My wordcount isn't where I would like it to be, but I am writing, and the book is moving. This is a win. If you are writing right now, I hope your wordcount is where you want it to be. But if it isn't, look for the progress you've made. Because you have made some. Give yourself the win. And keep going.